As You Were
by KellethMetheus
Summary: My take on what was happened during and beyond the events of 1x9.


**Author's Note:** In trying to make sure I get the characters down I like to write a few short little pieces. This was my second attempt. I have completed one of my longer WIP but I'm just wading through it before sending the last few chapters off to my beta. I hope to have it ready to begin posting next week so cross your fingers. The title is **Spiraling Out of Control** since it starts in the middle of episode 1x13.

Thanks to Anime0angel for the beta job.

I also have another WIP that I started before I saw the last few episodes. It's my next project to get done and I hope to have it ready by the time I'm done posting the other multi-chapter fic. So if you want to encourage me to write leave a review. They feed my muse.

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><p>Nathan took Audrey's hand and felt...nothing. A cold numb feeling stole over him as he shifted his hands over hers, trying to make sure he wasn't wrong, but no matter where he touched the result was the same and only one thought reverberated through his mind: Audrey was dead and this thing had killed her. No matter how much it looked and acted like Audrey it would never be Audrey.<p>

The only bright spot in his life had been snuffed out. Ever since Audrey had come to Haven, Nathan found he smiled more and began to enjoy life in spite of his condition. It didn't matter to Audrey and so it was beginning not to matter to him. Life was moving on and so was he. Then the miracle happened, he felt her kiss. Her soft lips against his cheek. For just a moment he'd seen the light at the end of the tunnel but that was gone and he found himself alone in the darkness once more.

Cupping the back of her head, he hoped against hope he was wrong. He needed to feel something from her because the alternative was too horrible and what he would have to do was even more so. If he wasn't wrong he'd have this one kiss to torture himself with at night when all the if and maybes came back to haunt him.

At first she was shocked but then she kissed him back. For a fraction of a second he could pretend it was the real Audrey but then he stepped back. This moment was a lie and he'd stopped lying to himself years ago. Audrey was dead!

Drawing a deep breath, he pulled out the Chief's gun and shot Audrey right in the heart, the very place that was now broken in his own chest.

Fate was such a cruel thing, it had taken the only person he could feel but the pain of her loss was still there cutting through him. On autopilot, he spoke to the thing demanding an answer, to know why he had taken Audrey from him. Anger surged through him temporarily pushing aside the grief. "You killed my friend!"

He listened to its dying words and found himself unable to hate the chameleon. It was like so many of the troubled, just wanting to live its life.

Then it spoke three words bringing the light back into his life. "She didn't die."

Nathan wanted to shake the thing to get the information before it died. Audrey was alive! The words pounded through his brain as he raced through the halls and down the stairs to the basement.

After everything that happened he hoped, he wasn't too late.

With the light from the hallway, he located the trunk and opened it. Audrey lay inside pale and unmoving. Nathan reached out taking her hand hoping to find it warm and alive.

He didn't care that he was wearing his heart on his sleeve for anyone observant enough to see, because all that mattered was Audrey and the hope she had brought him. He had once told her once, he hoped she could fix him and she already had in part, she just didn't know it.

When she told him tears would not be tolerated, he laughed blinking back the disallowed tears. Bending down he kissed their linked hands and admitted something to himself. Nathan Wuornos had fallen for Audrey Prudence Parker.

After helping Duke lift Audrey from the trunk, Nathan gathered her into his arms, quelling Duke's protests with a look before they left the other man's mouth.

Nathan led the procession up to Audrey's room. Everyone gathered around the doorway until Julia shooed them away, saying Audrey needed some privacy while she examined her. At first Nathan refused to leave but Julia asked him to find Audrey something to eat.

He was gone long enough for Julia to help Audrey change into some pajamas. When he returned he set the tray down on her lap and planted himself in a chair, crossing his arms over his chest, and waited for Julia to protest. He was worried if he left her side she'd slip away from him again.

With a shrug of her shoulders, Julia finished examining Audrey, although the patient protested the entire time. Once she was done, Audrey got to her feet on shaky legs and headed to the bathroom.

Julia touched his shoulder. "You should get some sleep too, Nathan. The boat will be here at nine."

"I will. I just want to talk to her for a few minutes. She'll want to know what happened."

Nodding her head, Julia said, "Tell Audrey, I'm next door if she needs me." She took a few steps and stopped. "She'll be fine, Nathan. She just needs some rest. This was some party. I've been to some pretty crazy ones, but this one took the cake."

Then Julia was gone, closing the door with a snap, leaving Audrey and Nathan alone. Nathan shifted his chair so he could lean against the wall, waiting.

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><p>Audrey stared at herself in the mirror still feeling adrift. Her time in the trunk was fuzzy. Each breath had become a struggle but she forced herself to take them, knowing if she stopped she'd die. She could feel herself slipping away but she knew Nathan would find her; she just had to stay alive.<p>

Then he was there, his hands warm and solid pulling her back into reality. As she came out of the fog every part of her ached but Audrey knew she'd be all right because Nathan was there. Audrey had no idea when it happened but he'd become a constant in her life. She'd never had someone worry about her like he did. He went out of his way to make sure Audrey felt like she belonged in Haven. Somehow, Nathan had managed to get through her defenses and found the person she'd always tried to keep hidden behind sarcasm. What did it mean, why did he want her to stay, could it be more than just friendship?

Part of her was terrified by Nathan and wanted to run and hide as she always did but a stronger part of her told Audrey she was safe with Nathan in so many ways. Taking a deep breath, she splashed water on her face before leaving the bathroom to face him alone for the first time that night.

Deciding to start on safe ground, she sat down at the table. "How are we going to write this one up? I don't want to admit I almost got eaten by a chameleon."

"Nope, that won't go over well. I thought we'd bury the chameleon here on the Knot and we'll take Eleanor home. Official ruling will be her death was an accident, which is what I think happened. She fell down the stairs in the dark when the power was out."

"Sounds like you got it all figured out."

Nathan smiled. "Most of it." With his free hand he checked his watch.

He lifted the tray cover to reveal a bowl of chicken stew and a slice of birthday cake. "Was this your idea?"

A smile broke out on Nathan's face. "Yes, you didn't get to blow out the candles on your cake so I thought you'd like to now." He reached out and lit the two candles with his lighter. "Happy birthday, Audrey."

Drawing a deep breath Audrey blew out the candles, but only one flickered and went out.

Nathan pointed to the single candle left burning and chanted in a child like sing song voice. "Audrey's got a boyfriend."

"Stop it you." Audrey punched him in the arm, hard.

Rubbing the spot, Nathan motioned to the meal. "Eat up, your birthday's almost over."

Audrey finished the stew in record time and took a bite of the cake. "This is Rosemary's isn't it?"

"I knew you'd expect nothing less. Eleanor brought it out with her. I took a picture of it before everything went to hell in a hand basket if you want to look at it later."

Offering Nathan the next bite, she asked, "Did you want some?"

Nathan opened his mouth and Audrey popped the piece of cake in to his mouth.

Nathan's body language changed as Audrey pulled back the fork and he became uncomfortable and began to squirm in his seat.

Getting to his feet, Nathan moved to leave. "Now that I know you're all right I should get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a nasty day of paperwork."

Grabbing his hand, Audrey stopped him, not wanting to be alone. "The bed's plenty big enough for the two of us. You can have your own blankets if you like, there's an extra quilt in the closet. I just don't want to be by myself, not after spending all those hours in a trunk."

Mutilating the cake, Audrey bit her lip wondering if she'd said the wrong thing, but Nathan chose a side of the bed, sat down and began unlacing his boots. Audrey left her mangled cake and took the other.

Each of them climbed into bed and laid side by side not touching for a moment before Audrey spoke. "Thank you." Then she leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for finding me."

His eyes were closed but a small smile of his was present on his lips. "Not a problem, Parker. It's what partners do." His deep calm voice flowed over her, helping her relax further. She could feel herself drifting back to sleep when Nathan took her hand. "I'll always find you, Audrey; it's what partners do."

Rolling over Audrey wrapped her arms around him. "No, it's what friends do. If you ever need me I'm here Nathan. When you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen."

She tried to pull away but he held her fast. "Just go to sleep, Parker. Anyone ever tell you, you talk too much."

Smiling against his chest, she relaxed, drifting off to sleep feeling warm and safe. Most of all, she'd finally found a place to belong and it wasn't just Haven. It was at Nathan's side in whatever capacity he'd take her.


End file.
